Feeling sentimental

Someone found my blog today by searching for “loud booming voice”. What are you trying to say?? 🙂

Anywho.

I have had a couple of “sentimental” moments lately and I think about blogging them, and then I don’t because of the response. You know, the “it only gets worse” comments. Or, “just wait until the grow up”. Or, “pretty soon they’ll be moving out!”. So why should you want to hear them?

But tonight I was washing Isabelle’s stuffed animal that she sleeps with and I realized it was the first time I had done that. I had a moment of mommyhood and realized that those sentimental moments are like a rite of passage, so it’s perfectly fine to share them- and equally fine to dish out the comments later! 🙂

This feeling was even stronger last week when I finally packed away all the clothes that don’t fit anymore. I have had a pile of 3-6 month clothes in the nursery for oh, six months. Whoops. I figured it was time to pack them up when suddenly Isabelle’s 12 month clothes were too big (well, I guess it was 6 months in the making and I don’t know why I was surprised).

I took the plunge and packed up all her clothes from 3 month to 1 year. I now have a toddler who wears size 18 month clothes. My baby’s growing up! [insert sobbing here]

Yeah, I know she’s not really that big- but honestly her 12 month outfits were my favorite! I loved her little dresses and pants. Of course, there’s fun ahead in gaining new favorite outfits but it’ll never be the same. And, I realize why some moms have a hard time getting rid of baby clothes.

The other part of me is sad because of the significance of Lucy. I think I have now gone through all the clothes that were bought for her or handed down for her use. It’s a good thing since Isabelle is creating her own self and items are “hers”, even though she doesn’t know the difference. In those moments I wonder if Isabelle would be different if she knew her big sister.

Not having “Lucy’s clothes” is closing another chapter of her not being around. From here on out things won’t hold the same meaning when I looked at them as symbols of a missed baby. I’m getting further away from things belonging to Lucy.

I was just reading over this and realized that I didn’t intend for this post to finish the way it did, but it’s probably why I had stronger feelings as I packed up those clothes.

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3 thoughts on “Feeling sentimental

  1. Megan says:

    I wish I could give you a real hug instead of written one. Thanks for sharing this. I’ve been thinking of Lucy a lot the past week (seriously) and wondering how you’ve been doing with her.

    Love you.

  2. Joani says:

    Well, you made me all sentimental & teary-eyed, too =). I’m sure Isabelle will be happy to know someday that she got to share so many of her older sister’s clothes.

  3. Mom says:

    I am sitting here at the Roastere in McCall at the Pancake House crying out eyes out (dad is trying to figure out what is wrong with me). Thanks for sharing Amy. We talked about Lucy this week at Aunt Devonne’s. It was special. The pictures with the Great-Grandparents are priceless. Isabelle looks so content to sit on their lap. Love you, Mom

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