Piece of Advice

I don’t write much about losing Lucy anymore, but I still have some things I am working on in my head. Mostly I don’t want to make people feel sad. This week I was watching the Today show and they did a special on bereavement photography.

This is probably what makes me feel the most emotional. Anytime I come across a picture of a family with their stillborn baby I tend to lose it. I think it’s because that’s where I feel the most regret. In all the shock of what was going on and delivering a still baby 3 hours after arriving at the hospital the last thing I wanted to do was have pictures.

The special on the Today Show highlighted the organization called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. (click this to see the clip)

This organization is a network of photographers that will go to hospitals and take pictures of the baby and the family. Like I said I regret this area, thankfully the nurse had a picture taken of Lucy but that’s the only one we have. As I was searching the internet for support information I learned about bereavement photography and the benefits to the family.

So here’s what I wanted to say: I hope that you or people you know never have to go through the loss of a child. But as I much as I wish it wouldn’t happen, it does. Make the family take pictures. Even if they never look at the pictures, most likely someday they’ll want to and what a blessing it would be to have them. You don’t have to go to a professional but they’ll know what to do and how to be sensitive to the families. Since I wasn’t aware that people do take pictures I just thought it would be too creepy. After seeing the pictures on the website I know it wouldn’t have been. Also, I don’t think I wanted the pictures on my own camera to have to download myself. If someone in the room had just been taking them that would’ve been fine. (of course I say that now!)

There you go. Hopefully you’ll be able to pass this advice on to someone and know how to help in the moment (in a tangible way).

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5 thoughts on “Piece of Advice

  1. Thanks for passing on all the advice. Like I told you a few weeks ago, it does come in handy. I’m glad you have the one picture of little Lucy, I was glad to see it when we were out there.

  2. That is really good advice, Amy. I’m thinking about you! I think that talking (writing) about Lucy when you feel like it is a good thing, even if it’s sad. I’m glad you have the one picture of sweet Lucy, I’m so sure you’ll treasure it always, until you see her again.

  3. Christi says:

    Wow. I looked at that site and it is such an amazing and unique idea to help people through an unthinkable time. What an amazing idea! I’m so glad that nurse took a picture of Lucy for you…what a gift.

  4. Hey there, I just found your blog through a friend and wanted you to know that I’m a part of this organization. I had a still child born at 27 weeks and felt it was important to give back to others and you’re right…you don’t feel like having photos at that moment. But, now that it’s been 3 years, I YEARN to have pics of my Kendall (girl) so thank you for being positive about NILMDTS

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