I don’t write much about losing Lucy anymore, but I still have some things I am working on in my head. Mostly I don’t want to make people feel sad. This week I was watching the Today show and they did a special on bereavement photography.
This is probably what makes me feel the most emotional. Anytime I come across a picture of a family with their stillborn baby I tend to lose it. I think it’s because that’s where I feel the most regret. In all the shock of what was going on and delivering a still baby 3 hours after arriving at the hospital the last thing I wanted to do was have pictures.
This organization is a network of photographers that will go to hospitals and take pictures of the baby and the family. Like I said I regret this area, thankfully the nurse had a picture taken of Lucy but that’s the only one we have. As I was searching the internet for support information I learned about bereavement photography and the benefits to the family.
So here’s what I wanted to say: I hope that you or people you know never have to go through the loss of a child. But as I much as I wish it wouldn’t happen, it does. Make the family take pictures. Even if they never look at the pictures, most likely someday they’ll want to and what a blessing it would be to have them. You don’t have to go to a professional but they’ll know what to do and how to be sensitive to the families. Since I wasn’t aware that people do take pictures I just thought it would be too creepy. After seeing the pictures on the website I know it wouldn’t have been. Also, I don’t think I wanted the pictures on my own camera to have to download myself. If someone in the room had just been taking them that would’ve been fine. (of course I say that now!)
There you go. Hopefully you’ll be able to pass this advice on to someone and know how to help in the moment (in a tangible way).